Reddit For Dating

Reddit (especially r/okcupid) is a great resource if you’re looking for a sounding board, feedback, or advice around dating on OkCupid.

Since the subreddit has existed, however, tons of ground has been covered. And the same questions come up over and over again.

Reddit Personals - r4r - 400,000+ - Activity Partners, Groups, Dating, Hanging Out, Soulmates, FWBs r/ r4r. Hot New Top Rising. Card classic compact. Pinned by moderators. Posted by 7 months ago. 3 3 2 5 META Welcome to r/r4r! Please read this before doing anything else! Reddit One humorous anecdote comes from someone called Oedipus, who writes that he accidentally found his mother on OkCupid. 'Better than finding her on fetlife (a bondage dating site),' is one of. GOOD FOR helping you find the perfect match in your area or abroad. With the help of Sue, you can find yourself again and evolve into an inspiring individual who can be an example to others. Sue strongly believes that growth is an ongoing pursuit you should have in life. She gives her clients the necessary tools to control their. Reddit offers a fantastic community that crowdsources information. Reddit offers subreddits that are specified topics that cater to an audience. The beauty of Reddit is that many of the users on subreddits have gone through similar experiences and have also started from square one, like where you may be now.

Reddit Dating For Gamers

The OkCupid Reddit wiki tries to capture the best of these questions and answers but can be a bit unweildly itself.

Here’s what believe to be the top 3 best-of-the-best advice from Reddit OkCupid.

#1) Reddit’s OkCupid Self-Summary Advice

DO

1. Do try writing this section last. Use the freestyle nature of this section to fill in anything you feel you didn’t get the chance to say in the rest of your profile.

2. Do focus on who you /are/. The things you /like/ and the things you /do/ belong in other sections. What is it these things are supposed to tell us about your character?

3. Edit weekly.

DON’T

1. Don’t say you suck at self-summaries. Lots of people dislike trying to summarize their complicated personality into a couple of paragraphs in a way they’re comfortable with. You probably don’t want to be lumped in with lots of people.

2. Don’t portray negativity or entitlement! This is supposed to be the hook to your profile and coming off as either of those will turn away tons of viewers. Nobody wants to be around a stuck up little brat.

3. Don’t write out your whole goddamned life story.

#2) Reddit’s OkCupid First Message Advice

DO

• Keep it light.
• Be interesting in the first 100 characters. This is important because the introduction is visible before the message is even opened.
• Keep it short. 2-4 sentences is an acceptable length. Be aware that you’re not the only message in their inbox, and lengthy messages can get skimmed or skipped.
• Show interest in getting to know them vs. smalltalk
• Demonstrate that you’ve read their profile
• Attempt to ask a question they haven’t heard before. If not, dive a bit deeper into a topic they probably get quite often.
• Use correct spelling, grammar and punctuation.
• Imagine yourself talking to this person in real life. Don’t write anything you wouldn’t say to their face. Don’t write anything that sounds too obvious or stupid.
• Only initiate conversations you WANT to have. Don’t ask someone about his/her interest in a topic just because (s)he’s cute. If nothing interests you personally, let it go.

DON’T

• Write just “hi, hello, hey there, etc.” and expect to get a response. /u/Lachryman says, “I say ‘Hey’ to my coworkers every morning. I’m not trying to date any of them.“
• Copy/paste. For the love of all that is wonderful in this world, please put forth some effort if you’re trying to find someone to be with.
• Say “why don’t you have a BF/GF? You’re too attractive to be single.”
• Send any kind of first message that you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying to someone in public.
• Spend a bunch of time to introduce yourself, tell your life story, or explain why you don’t think the person will message you back.
• Mention how attractive you think he/she is in an opening message.
• Open all possible topics of conversation or ask lots of questions in one question. Let the conversation flow and ask new questions in a lull.
• Invest too heavily in a profile or message. It will hurt more if they never respond.
• Be afraid to ask me out during our first or second message.
• Speak in slang, memes, ol’ timey, or anything that isn’t who you are.
• Give a fuck.
• Mention sex for a while.
• Neg, belittle, or clearly offend. (For those that don’t know, negging is the practice of offering a backhanded compliment through a method of a borderline insult, or “Low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of another individual so they might be more vulnerable to your advances and seek your approval.”)

#3) Reddit’s OkCupid Profile Photo Advice

DO

From our very own /u/mattheikkila’s OKCuTips: “Your first photo should either show how attractive you can be, or be interesting enough to compel those you’re interested in to click on it when it’s a little 60×60 pixel thumbnail. Picking an odd, silly, weird, or goofy picture is probably not the best choice. I personally will click on a profile only if there is a reasonable chance that they’re attractive, and I do this for 3 reasons: 1 is to save time, 2 is because it’s a dating site and I’m only going to consider someone I find attractive, and 3 is because I don’t want to unnecessarily give the message that I may be interested (by showing up in their visitor list) if I’m definitely not. Usually a face shot with good lighting, no bathroom shots, or self shots if you can help it. Also, you can help it. Do you have one friend? Do you or they have a camera or a camera phone?

Your second and third photos should be flattering, and one of the three should be a full body shot, because there’s no point in dealing with the embarrassment of finding out one of you even accidentally misrepresented what you look like in person.”

1. Your first picture is the most important piece of the profile puzzle. It’s the first thing people see when searching profiles, and can be the make-or-break decision in less than five seconds of someone knowing of your existence. So, DO pick your absolute best picture! It must have great lighting, great composure, high resolution, and most importantly your best features being the most prominent eye-catcher in the picture. Also, when cropping, make sure to capture that essence because your thumbnail is your representative on the site.

2. DO have a few pictures alone, and a few with other people. Having lots of one and very few of the other will give bad impressions of either being too anti-social and difficult to mesh with your match’s friends, or too clung to your friends and activities to have time for a partner.

3. Do show variety. Different places, different times, different moods, different atmospheres, different poses and different facial expressions will do more to show how multi-faceted of a person you are than any amount of words you type out describing it.

Psst… Want girls or guys to 😍😍😍 at your OkCupid profile?

Test your OkCupid pics on Photofeeler.

Photofeeler tells you how you’re coming across in pics — if you look attractive, smart, trustworthy, fun, confident, and more.

You could ask r/OkCupid for feedback, but statistically, the handful of opinions you’ll get is very scant. Further, someone on Reddit OkCupid might say you look “bad” in one picture or “better” in another. But how often do you find out why a photo is good or bad?

What if none of your pictures are doing you justice? Most people (men especially) use pics that don’t do them justice at all. What they need is some hard data and real guidance for how to do better.

Reddit For Dating Women

Answer? Test all your pics on Photofeeler. Choosing profile pics this way has been known to increase matches on Tinder by 200-400%.

Go to Photofeeler.com now and give it a try!

This blog post was written by Andrew Hofman, founder of reddimatch.com.

Whether you’re a heavy user of the self-styled “front page of the internet” or just passing by, reddit has something to offer anyone looking to find true love, get a date, or just find that special someone.

Reddit is essentially a forum for posting and discussing interesting topics. Boasting over 3.5 million daily registered visitors and over 8 billion monthly page views, reddit is also one of the largest and most active websites in the world. Reddit’s popularity is due in part to its expansive and niche network of sub-communities known as subreddits. Each subreddit is devoted to a particular topic, ranging from something as general as “funny” at http://www.reddit.com/r/funny to something much more specific like a particular TV show or hobby, like reddit.com/r/pinball. Users subscribe to these different subreddits to tailor the content they see and interact with when visiting reddit.

The good news is that there are dozens of popular subreddits devoted to all aspects of online dating. Some act like a genuine support network, while others are best for posting that funny Tinder profile you saw, or vent about that annoying suitor. Below I break down some of the most popular archetypes and lay out your best options on reddit for meeting someone special.

The Support Network

Community Hub: /r/relationship_advice

Other notable subreddits: /r/WeMetOnline, /r/LongDistance, /r/LGBT, /r/dating, /r/DeadBedrooms

These subreddits are focused on helpful discussion. They’re a great place to learn something new about dating or to ask for advice. My own guilty pleasure is also reading about some cringe-worthy situations to feel better about myself. The communities listed above are really just the tip of the iceberg for support, but any are a good starting point to finding the specific subreddit for you. These are also the communities where you’ll find some of the most thought-provoking content.

The Funny

Community Hubs: /r/Tinder, /r/OKcupid

Other notable subreddits: /r/creepyPMs, /r/POF

Always good for a laugh. Most of these subs are image-heavy, so browsing is easy and enjoyable. They’re a great place to hone your pick-up line game, especially for Tinder. For example, see the great post below for a subtle “Forrest Gump” Tinder profile. These communities are also great places to learn what not to do; if you’ve been striking out too frequently on OKC for example, post your profile on /r/okcupid and get some honest feedback.

The Personals

Community Hub: /r/R4R

Other notable subreddits: local R4Rs like /r/PhillyR4R for the Philadelphia area, or /r/GBR4R for Great Britain. Also /r/penpals, /r/CasualConversation, and /r/DepthHub.

This is the meat and potatoes of reddit online dating. R4R stands for Redditor for Redditor. These subreddits are comprised of personal ads for dating, hooking up, or just finding a friend. Just like the rest of reddit, every listing and comment is free, so no worries there. The main subreddit, R4R, has ~80 thousand users, and approximately ten thousand daily visitors, so chances are your post will be seen by someone, and you have the chance to see tons of other posts. Unfortunately, like all online dating, this method has its pitfalls. Your listing is only up for a day or so, and it’s considered bad form to spam personals. This means you might be out of luck if you don’t have a very unique listing. The other issue is that the main subreddit is global, so you may have a hard time finding someone local. Some of the other notable subreddits mentioned are not specifically for dating, but they’re a great place to talk to people, and a common topic is dating anyway.

Other Options

If you’re not completely impressed with reddit’s offerings, that’s okay, neither was I. There are some great communities, but nothing really feels personal. A lot of the specific subreddits for dating are filled with fluff or horror stories, and creating a meaningful relationship online is no easy task to begin with.

This is where the reddit dating service reddimatch.com comes in. My friend and I designed reddimatch so like-minded reddit users can connect to make friends or get a date. Reddimatch takes advantage of all the unique personalities and rich data that redditors have to offer. All the ways people use reddit on a daily basis are a reflection of their real uninhibited personalities. By matching users based on common interests expressed on reddit, we think we can do a more honest job than traditional online dating/matching services that require the user to fill out questionnaires to get accurate matches. It’s easy to lie or present your best self on these questionnaires. There’s still a ton of customization available; you can find people in your area, meet a pen pal from an interesting country, or just find your reddit twin. We’re excited to see how redditors use our platform beyond the obvious to connect in authentic ways.

If you’re interested in the reddit dating scene or have your own favorite dating subreddits, leave a comment below, sign up at reddimatch.com, or find us on twitter @reddimatch.

By Andrew Hofman

Andrew Hofman is the Founder of reddimatch.com, a place for reddit users to connect based on their common interests. He’s a long time redditor with an appetite for technology. During the day, Andrew also works as a virologist in the bio-pharmaceutical industry.